Thing 1 is in 4th grade... I'm having issues. He is the youngest in his class, will only turn 10 at the end of May... debated 5 years ago to hold him back or not... Well, he tested well for Kindergarten, so I let him go. He has always had good grades, not perfect, and he works for them, but not too-too difficult. Its the maturity level that kills him... and me. Every year, up until after Christmas break, I kick myself for not holding him back, then something clicks with him and the 2nd half of the year is good. Second grade was great the whole year thru. Fourth Grade... we haven't clicked yet. This is also the year I have let him do more than hockey and Cub Scouts. We now do 2 hockey teams (club and school), Cub Scouts and violin. Leading to a well-rounded kid, in my opinion. I had told him at the beginning of the school year, and many times since that this year would be a work year, and that the time for 'playing' is coming to an end. :( But I wanted him prepared. I also told him that this year was going to be for time-management skill development. With all his activities, he was going to have to focus and do the work. This has not worked out well. He now does his homework in his room, because frankly, I can't take the drama of having to do 2-3 homework worksheets and the 45+ minutes it takes to do said worksheets. He answers everything he can in his room at his desk, without the bothers of me or Thing 2, then he can come and ask questions, get help, etc. Great. Works better... still takes way too much time because 1) hes a typical boy and 2) is still an immature 9 yr old. (which, don't get me wrong, is okay, if he was in 3rd grade without the work level and extra-curricular activities he has chosen to do). This does not count the projects or tests that just seem to be piling on, esp now since we are a school that does the damn PSSA's... and he gets 'practice' packets sent home that are composed of 40 questions, reading and math that are due in a weeks time.
This quarter he has lost any video game privileges due to his reading portfolio not being done on time last quarter. (This portfolio consists of 5 books, summaries and various projects for each book.) He came home on a Wednesday and said the portfolio was due on Thursday and he still had 1 1/2 books to read and 3 summaries and 3 projects. TIME MANAGEMENT???!!!! Was he even there when I was lecturing on the importance of this?? Ways to accomplish it?? The 'Just Do It' mentality?? Apparently not. Maybe the walls were paying attention... Hard to tell. So here we are, this quarter with a broken wrist (so no violin classes or practices), 3 weeks from the due date, he does have all the books read. But the summaries? No. Only has 2 done. Maybe 2 1/2. This portfolio has actual projects to be done; a diorama, bookmarks, an advertisement. You can only do 1 once, so each book has a different project. He has the bookmarks done, the diorama started...
This is nothing compared to the hockey practices he has had to miss because of homework not being done, tests not studied for, projects waiting for the last minute... And the TIME it takes for him to do any of this is staggering! The Drama. The Tears. The Tantrums. The Arguments. It goes on, and on, and on. You'd think he'd learn from his mistakes. You'd think I'd learn from my mistakes. I don't handle it well, I'll admit it. I expect a lot. And we're strict.
I told Thing 1 that I would not fight with him to do his homework this year, or anything else for that matter. It's his responsibility. I'll help, I'll remind, but not nag, or fight. If it's not done, it's his burden. And I told his teacher this. (Thing 2 is picking up on Thing 1's bad habits... she's only 4!! I can't do this again!!) I've driven him back to school at least 3 times this year to get things he's forgotten. I've called, emailed, borrowed from neighbors, teachers, friends for various things to help when he's forgotten, neglected or destroyed.
And 5th grade is right around the corner.
I'm scared.
I feel I've ruined my son all because I didn't hold him back when deep in my heart I knew I should have. If you have any doubts about putting your child in or holding back, hold back. It will only be easier for everyone in the long run. He/She would be older, more mature - and that is never a bad thing.
I can't hold him back now, it would be cruel. Kids are cruel. Unless we moved, out of state... that's always a possibility.... <insert eye-roll here>
Once again, Dumb Ol Me screws up my kid....
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