Training for a marathon sucks. Even 1/2 marathon. It's not going well at the moment. Mostly b/c I can't breath when I run, no matter how slow I go. (No, I don't have asthma.) And the blisters are a killer!
Maybe I'm not a runner.
Last year, I watched my sister cross the finish line for the full marathon and cried just as much as she did! I also cried when total strangers crossed the finish line as I stood there for an hour waiting for my sister. It was so emotional and uplifting and motivational. I wanted to be part of that!
I hate running, always have. (maybe a sign??!) But I wanted that feeling I had that day just standing there.... and watching some of those people cross that line, I really though, if THEY could do it... why couldn't I? I was in good shape, still am...
But....I've been training for well, probably not as much as I should. It's a time constraint... and I'm a stay-at-home mom with a preschooler still at home. My first jobs are the kids and the house, I squeeze my training in when it won't impact anyone else's schedule. And since January, I've only run 75 miles... not a lot in the whole scheme of things.
I love the feeling I have when I finish a run. But not today... today I cried. I'm so disappointed. I don't think I can do the 13.1 miles. But EVERYONE knows I'm doing this. I'll feel like I've let them down. Esp my sister and her mom.I've gotten new 'running' shoes from my mom. Socks and support unlimited from my running sister. A heart-rate monitor, a running shirt and shoe bling from her mom. Inquiries, concern, and support from many others. I'll let them down. Not to mention I'll just be embarrassed and feel like a complete failure if I quit. so.... NO QUITTING!
But damn my feet hurt....
and my heart....
who would have thought that 'running'... just 'running' was so damn hard.
So, Dumb Ol Me will just have to suck it up, wipe away the tears, and keep going. ...right after these blisters heal....
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